I’m back! Interestingly I took a teeny tiny 14-month hiatus from this blog just after posting an entry entitled “I am not done yet” but that sums up my personality quite nicely..
So what happened? Well on the one hand I broke up with my partner, spent two months doing an internship to get a job I ended up not taking, I switched medications yet again and my plan to learn to play the guitar never got going so I didn’t do so well. On the other hand I am on my new medication for about a year now and it is working acceptably so far, I got back together with my partner, I found a new job which I am holding for over eight months now and my old band from two articles down reunited so that’s nice.
Overall many things in my life are going better than ever but everything is shaky and I am still far away from considering myself mentally healthy. In the end I can’t promise I will write new articles very often but I will try to keep it frequently…ish.
But I didn’t want my first article since my break to be entirely about myself, so here goes;
Before and during my work for this blog I spent a lot of time reading somewhat similar blogs dealing with mental illnesses or other chronic diseases. While I found many inspiring stories sometimes there was something about them that I found a bit concerning but I couldn’t quite figure out what it was until I read an article that was something along the lines of “10 things about depressed people you may not know” (I don’t recall the exact title though). It said that on average people with depression have a higher IQ, are more empathic, more sensitive and so on. It all sounded like the author was trying to say that the depressed were some sort of superior beings.
Now obviously that was not what the author was actually saying, I suppose he was trying to break negative stereotypes about people with mental illnesses – which is great of course. But it was in that moment that I realised that many articles I read in the past had a similar connotation. They painted the mentally or chronic ill as warriors bravely facing an invisible yet terrible enemy while at the same time struggling with enormous stigma from those around them instead of the help and respect they deserved and described in what ways these adverse experiences form character. They also often involve calls for solidarity among those affected, to reach out and provide assistance and community only someone who knows what these illnesses are like is able to provide.
Just to be clear, I’ll be the first to say that my own articles on this blog are no exception. As I said, the intent is to break stereotypes and stigmas about those affected by mental illnesses, such as that they are dumb or weak, to invoke empathy and to try to find the silver lining, the one positive aspect of such a horrible situation. The problem is that to some people, on a subconscious level, this all starts to sound a bit appealing. Of course none of these writers are saying that having a mental or chronic illness is a good thing or something that anyone is supposed to have. In fact most go out of their way to highlight how horrible it is. But again, I am talking about a subconscious level here. No one wants to be depressed but who wouldn’t want to be a brave warrior with above average IQ that is part of an empathic community of peers willing to help?
There are two problems here; for one, we are dealing with false premises. There might be a general tendency of depressed people having a somewhat higher IQ and more empathy but that doesn’t mean there aren’t many of us that are dumb as a rock and/or giant assholes. And while adversity might form the character of some people in a positive way, it can bring out the worst in others. And while self-help groups or relevant internet platforms might provide help and a sense of community to many, which is fantastic, they can also instill a sense of hopelessness in others because they essentially show you a broad range of people who are failing at overcoming the same difficulties you have. Of course this is a false impression because the “success stories” that would be needed to balance out the picture are not there precisely because they are healthy now – but that doesn’t change the fact that being confronted with others in the same condition as you can be counterproductive. Not to mention that in many cases such as those with social anxiety the mental illness itself keeps you from being able to connect with others, even if they know what you are going through.
The second problem is what these false premises can cause. I found that the thing about many mental illnesses like depression is that they can make you very receptive to certain messages while you tend to block out others. And a common symptom of depression is the complete inability to imagine that you will ever feel better again. Someone who is already affected by depression may, again subconsciously, get the impression that instead of walking the often incredible hard journey back to a state of health they can’t even imagine, it might just be preferrable to stay the sick but brave warrior, while ignoring the authors statements about how awful their disease is and how much better off they would be without it.
So what can we do to avoid this? Honestly I am not sure. We obviously should not stop trying to break stereotypes or to convince the depressed that they are not alone. But while doing so, we should remember that good intentions can always backfire, sometimes with terrible results.
The Metaphorical of Delphi 